Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
