grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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