just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
