yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
