Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
