Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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