just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
