I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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