roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
