he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
