you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
