All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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