I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
