Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
