Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
