im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
