Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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