I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
