He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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