Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
