then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
