what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
