there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
