hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
