whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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