remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he fucked my hip out of place.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
