We got so high we made milksteak
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
