I must be too annoying 4 u.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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