We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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