Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
