Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
