I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
