There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
