Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish you could order shots online.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
