when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
its liver damage thursday
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