He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
