I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
