you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
no you cant smoke seaweed
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
NoShamevember. You game?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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