i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
