How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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