I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
