He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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