Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
