hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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