She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
