I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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