with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You may now shotgun with the bride
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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