fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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