I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
