remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They are going to name an STD after you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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