Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
