i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
