Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
