So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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