i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
